Wow my whole Dear ___ , Thanks Me idea has become so big now!

Dear Graduate School,

Please try to be friends with my self esteem.
I can think critically.
I can write engagingly.
I can speak eloquently.
Thats all I got.
And I'm giving it to you.

Dear Boys Who Claim to Love Me,

Let it last a week before you profess.
You know Im a sucker, but we all hate bad hangovers.

Dear Santa,

Could you take away my wrath for the season?
I'd like to be merry.

Dear Facebook Friends,

Could you stop announcing that you are married/engaged/in a relationship?
It makes me feel like Shit.

Dear Nice Guys,

Could you stop thinking bitchy girls are wonderful?
It makes me take personal offense to liking you.

Dear Television Stations,

Could you please stop playing reruns of Friends?
You are ruining it for me!